Oh my god someone kill this ice already

I seriously can't understand how everyone in my ends is able to walk competently, even SPEEDILY on ice, yet, the minute my feet touch the ground I'm slipping and sliding like a motherlicker.

This morning before leaving for work, I looked out of the window in wonder of the passing non-slip pedestrians, in much the same way a tramp would look through the window of a rich man at a banquet. I was in awe! They walked just like normal! They didn't slide! They were getting on with it! It was business as usual!

Of course, when I went outside it was a different story.

I'm not gonna bang on about it but let's just say that ice wouldn't get it from me in the shower.

Today I even got a cab back from the station just to avoid the ice even though the station is literally three minutes away from my house. I could see the cab driver looking at me funny when I told him my destination so I limped to the car as though I had this really rare and dangerous leg injury and he seemed to buy it so that was good.

I HATE THE ICE! I HATE IT! =(